


Patterns

by PFDiva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by <a href="http://renaris.tumblr.com/post/14052004716/boys-sure-do-love-their-ablutions">this lovely picture</a> and a sort-of sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/692556">One-upsmanship</a>, but you don't have to have read that to understand this.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Patterns

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this lovely picture](http://renaris.tumblr.com/post/14052004716/boys-sure-do-love-their-ablutions) and a sort-of sequel to [One-upsmanship](http://archiveofourown.org/works/692556), but you don't have to have read that to understand this.

Your name is Robert Egbert, and your boyfriend is utterly humiliating.

You'd say it was because he's younger than you, but there's barely five years between you.

You'd say it was because he was an idiot, but he's actually painfully intelligent, and very well aware of it.

His younger brother made a bit of a fool of himself and your son a little while back, so you and Dirk haven't spent as much time together recently.

You thought it was a mutual agreement.

You thought he was ok.

And then you found him posing against your car at 8am in the morning, running your water bill up so the hose can spray his body all over, plastering his white shirt to his toned chest, squeezing water over his head out of one of his obscene puppets for added drama.

Why were you attracted to this man, again?

"Rob."

"No, I really don't care what your excuse is, this time."

"C'mon, it's not THAT bad."

"It is eight in the morning.  People are taking their children to school."

"Rob, it's Sunday.  You're the only one up right now."

"Dirk, I'm going to go turn off the water."

"I missed you."

As usual, Dirk has thrown you with an uncharacteristic display of emotion.  His voice sounds emotional, raw.  You slowly lift your gaze from the protective safety of your hand.

He's looking at you over the top of his shades, amber eyes stealing your breath away all over again.

He's fiddling with the nose of his toy, water still spraying him in the chest, clattering off his shades and dripping down his face.

The fidgeting's what gives his anxiety away.

You remember in a sudden flood of shame that your brash, embarrassing boyfriend has a unique combination of issues that mean that if you don't remind him that you still care about him every few days, he thinks you've begun to actively dislike him.

"I've missed you as well."

Your confession causes him to perk up, and he leers at you.

"How much?"

"Not enough to forgive the water you've wasted.  You do realize I expect you to actually wash my car now, right?"

"And you'll let me warm myself up with a shower after?"

You can't help but smile at his obvious maneuvering.

"Perhaps."

He scoops up the hose, aiming it away from your outfit in deference to your modesty.

"And perhaps I'll have to borrow sir's clothing while my own dry?"

"Perhaps."

You really wish you could be embarrassed at how swiftly he draws you into his flirtatious games, but you quite literally cannot help yourself in the face of his charisma.

"And perhaps you can try that thing you sent me a video of last week?"

"Depends on how good of a job you do."

"Ooo, Mr. Egbert, I'm swooning."

"Well, we can't have that.  Perhaps I'll go make you a big breakfast."

"Will I need it?"

"Yes."

"Yisss..."

Dirk throws himself into cleaning your car with the puppet.

You go make breakfast for him and plan how you are going to make him scream with pleasure.

Fortunately, John is visiting Dave, and you suspect this is what prompted Dirk's unusual display.

You do have to admit that you wake somewhat early.

You were planning to go grocery shopping in John's absence, but you go shopping at the same time every week.

It warms your heart to know that not only has Dirk memorized your schedule, he probably went to sleep hours earlier than he usually did in order to come surprise you.

And your car will be VERY clean when he's done.

He prides himself on his thoroughness.

Also, he doesn't know quite how angry you are.

You wonder how much he'll laugh at you if you wear the frilly lace apron he bought you for Christmas.

And nothing else.

It's made of silk.

But by the time he finishes washing your car, you find that you were so absorbed in your thoughts, you've made a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, like you do for John every week.  You feel vaguely embarrassed, but he grins understandingly and snags a slice of bacon as he makes his way through the kitchen to the laundry room, where you can hear the wet smack and squish of clothing as he removes it.

You move to stand in the doorway and admire the way his muscles move as he disrobes.

Once he's got the dryer going, you pin him against it with your stockier frame, planting your hands on the vibrating metal, boxing him in.

Dirk is taller than you, slim, and heavy with muscle, but you are by no means weak, and you know howto exploit his vulnerabilities to bring you both pleasure.

His body is tense against yours, trembling from the dryer's vibrations and his own excitement.

His hands cover your own, his long fingers sliding between your shorter ones and clutching your hands tightly.

You sink your teeth into the warm, damp skin at the back of his neck, and he melts with a breathy sigh, all the tension draining from his body so fast he almost collapses face-first onto the dryer.

"Shh," you murmur against his skin, catching him with an arm around his chest, "I've got you."

He nods once, helplessly.

"I know."

"You really shouldn't have done that to me."

"I know."

"You're going to ache for days."

"Oh, I hope so."

You chuckle in his ear.

You've decided on your course of action, and while you have every intention of making Dirk scream and shout with pleasure, first you are going to make him curse, tremble, and beg.


End file.
